From as early as I can remember I have been aware of and careful with my finances. In my 30’s I was a facilitator/trainer for a company with 600 employees and an independent event planner. I was single and enjoyed having a full-time job and freelancing on the side.

In my late 30’s I got married and had 2 children very quickly so I decided to take a “permanent full-time” job. I wanted stability, benefits and a pension. After pouring myself into my career in corporate health & wellness for 6 years it took a serious toll on my wellness and I started to feel like a hypocrite. My body agreed and by the Fall of 2019 I could hardly walk with an official diagnosis of lower back arthritis. I recovered on the couch for 6 weeks and had time to reflect on where I had been, where I was, and who I wanted to be. That’s when I decided that my health and my family needed to be my top priorities.

Even though it was terrifying, I had a clear vision of working for myself. I would have more time with my young kids, more time for my health, and I would be able to help employees of more than one organization with workplace mental health. More importantly, I could take baby steps toward making my dream retirement a reality. More on that later.

For the 12 months leading up to launching Abridge Consulting December 1, 2020, I focused on:

• my personal, career and financial goals;
• understanding my strengths and my offer to clients;
• my professional development and credentials;
• key partnerships that helped market me and compliment me;
• building a strong network of partners, colleagues, clients, experts; and
• all of the logistics like banking, logos, technology, setting up my home office and more.

Before I started, I thought I would:

• love spending more time with my family;
• make my own hours and play way more tennis;
• work less and make more money; and
• be happier.

Here’s what really happened:

2021 - Year 1

Right away, the best part was that I was never in a work conversation with someone who wasn’t excited to talk to me. It felt amazing. Even so, I felt like an imposter so I said yes to everything and anything. I never thought about a limit to the number of hours I could teach. I was surprised to find out that all of the extra time with my young kids was the literal worst time (that last hour before school and the first hour after school). I felt like a horrible parent. I was physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted and lucky if I played tennis twice a month. The day after I launched my own business my spouse’s health took a sudden sharp decline and he was on a medical leave from April 2021 to January 2022. Suddenly I was parenting, caregiving and starting my own business during a global pandemic. By May I had laryngitis from overuse and by September 2021 I passed out on my desk right after doing a live webinar for 1,000 people. It was a defining moment and my low point.  Was I happier? It was too hard to tell. Was I proud of myself? I was in survival mode. I was crushed at home and at work.

2022 - Year 2

I slowly started to believe in myself and my worth. I slowly raised my prices from “What’s your budget?” to a consistent hourly rate (that was still way too low). I noticed that I was building a solid reputation based on my work and my partnerships. I also started to move away from work I didn’t enjoy and evolve to my new specialty, workplace suicide prevention, something I had not even thought about a year earlier. My spouse was on a slow road to recovery and I managed to play tennis almost once a week. In September 2022 I knew I needed a serious break. I decided to celebrate my success as a solopreneur and take myself to London, United Kingdom for 12 whole days. Alone. I cried at Roger Federer’s last match, I ate chicken pot pie in the Ted Lasso pub and had high tea at Harrods. I came back as a new person, with a new outlook and joined a new tennis club.

2023 - Year 3

I panicked Dec 2022 - Feb 2023 that I didn't have “enough” work booked so I doubled down on marketing and promotion and then complained I was too busy. Now I am halfway through my 3rd year as a solopreneur. While I am working more than I ever have in my entire life, I am also entering a new phase of my business. I feel confident and clear about what I say yes to and what I say no to. I know my “boundaries of competence” so that when a client needs something I can’t deliver, I have a wealth of experts I can connect them with. I have monthly, quarterly and annual business goals and I continue to focus on partnerships. Weekly someone asks me when I will hire someone and the answer is never. At least for now, I want to remain independent with amazing partners and not take on the responsibility of an employee. There are so many lessons to learn from others and from my own experience.

2024 - Year 4

As I look ahead to next year, I am laser focused on:

• my professional goal to “get more people, more help, sooner”;
• my vision that every employer has workplace suicide prevention in their onboarding and leadership development content; and
• my personal dream of true financial wellness where I continue to work as much as I want to while playing on the amateur Masters tennis tour. This includes traveling the world with my best friends.

After that, who knows! I am learning to plan and set goals while being adaptable to the changing priorities of my family and my clients.

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